I’ve been writing about elder orphans for over a decade. Long before I became one. An elder orphan is older, single, lives alone, and has no children or support system. This happens for several reasons including death, divorce, no children or outliving family.

In 2018, I became suddenly single, an elder orphan, when my husband of thirty-eight years died from a massive heart attack. I have no kids and no immediate family close by.

Words Matter

The term “elder orphan” is offensive to some, and the preferred term is now “solo ager.” Personally, I think elder orphan is a more meaningful description. You may disagree. It’s like the term “long-term care” being replaced by “extended care.”

Many industry pundits now use the term extended care to replace long-term care. Perhaps they think extended care is more acceptable. But here the meanings have meaning and are different and the distinction between extended (often short-term, rehabilitative) care and long-term (ongoing, custodial) care is vital. Understanding this difference helps families make informed decisions, plan finances effectively, and ensure their loved ones receive the appropriate level of support for their needs.

But I digress. Regardless of how it might come to be, it is essential for all of us to consider what life would be like if we found ourselves single. Or like being single and plan to remain so.

What The Research Says

Consider these findings from research conducted by AARP and the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago:

• 10% of adults aged 50 and older live alone with no significant other or children.
• 78% are concerned about losing independence
• 70% fear not having enough money
• 60% fear not being able to stay in their current home
• 81% have not planned for the potential of needing assistance
• Only 17% think they will need long-term care in the future
• Less than 50% have a living will, advanced directives, trust or beneficiaries
• Most have two to nine friends, but none could manage care or finances

A To-Do List For Elder Orphans

Whether you are single or may be in the future, here are a few things to do:

1. Make a plan! If you think you may be aging solo don’t delay making decisions. While still healthy and lucid figure out your plan. Be sure that critical documents are created including financial and health care powers of attorney, living will, trust, etc.
2. Assemble your team. Build a circle of friends and designate a trusted advisor to be your personal advocate if you cannot manage your affairs. Who will you entrust to conduct your preferences if you are not able to yourself? Make sure that person(s) is willing to perform this role for you. Be sure that all your preferences are known along with the location of your documents. Consider engaging a fiduciary.
3. Consider your living arrangements. If you remain in your home, do you know your neighbors? Would a retirement community provide the kind of support and social environment important in later years?
4. Where do you want to live if you need long-term care? At home? In a continuing care retirement community? Assisted living community? The government projects that by age 65 and older 70 percent of us will experience a long-term care event and need some level of assistance.
5. How will you pay for this care? Medicare may cover up to 100 days of skilled nursing if certain requirements are met, like being hospitalized. But it’s not a funding resource for long-term care. For most Americans there are just three funding options: self-fund, private insurance or qualify for government assistance designed for the indigent.

These questions can help you construct your plan so that if you are alone in later years and need assistance, your preferences are known and can be implemented by someone you trust.

Because of my experience in financial services, we had a plan, trust, wills, powers of attorney, advanced directives, cremation policies and more.

I hope becoming an elder orphan is not in your future. But if it is, planning can help manage the challenges of aging and provide some peace of mind. Contact us today to get started.