Not a polite question, I know. But an important one. Why? Because if you are thirty-ish or forty-ish, you could still avoid becoming a member of the sandwich generation. A membership that no one wants due to the emotional, physical, financial and psychological costs.

What is the sandwich generation?

It is being squeezed between taking care of children still living at home and aging parents. It adds care for aging parents to lives already full of other obligations like balancing job responsibilities, finances, retirement goals, church, social commitments, walking the dog, a weekend round of golf, hair appointment, kids’ sports, music lessons and the list goes on.

How to avoid becoming part of the sandwich generation?

Encourage your parents to design a plan for long-term care. The government projections are that 70% of Americans age 65 and older will need some level of long-term care.

For most Americans there are just three ways to fund long-term care expenses: self-fund, private insurance or government assistance through Medicaid which is designed for the indigent and has income and asset requirements to qualify.

If you are in your thirties or forties, your parents are probably in their fifties or sixties. The ideal age range for long-term care insurance is fifties to seventies based on health and affordability.

Do you have any idea how healthy or wealthy your parents are? Or their financial goals?

In past years, my clients routinely told me that their financial goals were to leave an inheritance for their children and grandchildren. I don’t hear that very often today. Most often the goals are to not burden their kids with caregiving responsibilities and maintaining the standard of living for their spouse if one needs long-term care. Private insurance can support both goals.

Do your parents have a plan if care is needed?

Do they have a trust or living will? Have they shared these documents with you? Have you asked them about their goals and plans should they need care or help with their affairs? Do you know their doctors, lawyers, insurance agents? Or, where their important documents are located?

I have clients who cannot afford this insurance. But their kids can and so siblings band together to share the cost of premiums for their parents. Even a small policy will offset significant expense and enable kids to be kids instead of hands-on caregivers. Yes. Kids will still be involved in parents’ care but in managing care and affairs not as hands-on caregivers.